2016: No Resolutions, Only Reflections And Results
New Year,.. Not So New Me!
Every year, I hear my friends and loved ones say…”New Year, New Me!” The statement literally makes me cringe, because we should all be striving to enhance ourselves, not recreate who we are called to be. In 2015, I learned a lot about myself and strive to learn more in 2016, however, I have no intention of breaking who I’m called to be in order to rebuild something other than a better me. So, instead of “New Year, New Me,” I’m encouraging my dearest friends to take on the mantra of “New Year, Not So New Me…A Better Me.”
Here are my reflections of 2015. All I learned, all I didn’t really learn and everything I plan to discover.
1. Time Management – It can make or break your self-esteem. Constantly feeling the rush
is no way to live, physically or mentally. Manage your time and you’ll manage your success.
2. Control Is For The Weak – Constantly fighting for control only accentuates your
weakness. We can’t always be in control of anything. Once we accept this reality, we will
3. What Did God Say? – This is my hardest area to improve upon. Asking myself did God
say that or did Taylor say that? Being in touch with God, I haven’t always upheld. However,
I will say I would like to start being in his presence more, the more we hangout with a
friend, the better we are able to recognize the difference between their voice and ours.
How can we hear God if we don’t spend enough time to recognize his voice?
4. Listening, Is A Sign of Endearment—The more friendships, relationships and people I
come across the more I understand and realize that everyone wants to be heard. Showing
you can listen, hear, and understand what someone is trying to say, shows that you truly
care for them. Relationships are a two-way street, but sometimes you must allow it to be a
one way street and take in what the other person is saying, free of your own judgments,
emotions, responses and biases.
5. What You Eat Can Promote Or Break Self-Hatred – What do I mean by this? We all know
what we should be eating in order to promote a positive and healthy lifestyle. Creating a
solid relationship with what we take in can change the way we feel. Food can also have
positive or negative effects on our emotions and ability to think clearly. I will be doing a
posting on how Food Clouds Your Judgment(s) in the New Year. But it’s true. Cookies make
us feel crummy, chocolate makes us feel rich, then we crash from the high when we check
our bank accounts and soda just makes us feel plain old bloated. What I eat shapes how I
6. Fellowship – Whatever it is you want to do with your life, within your communities, your
relationships….find a fellow to build a ship with. Coming together and creating positive
relationships to drive the results you want, will only navigate you closer to your ultimate
goals. Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zones to make these partnerships
either. You can have the biggest blessing waiting for you right around the corner just by
asking for help and allowing others into your realm. You don’t have to carry the weight by
yourself. Be open!
7. Accepting Love! – This has always been a challenge for me and remains a challenge for
me, even today. Due to insecurities from my father being in and out of my life, until
recently, I have always struggled with accepting love from others. Constantly being afraid
they would leave. So when conflict arises, I generally lash out, doing and saying
hurtful things and then try to disappear or force the person to leave me. It’s a control
mechanism (this one kinda goes with number 2 on this list). One thing I’ve learned is that
everyone has free will, if they are going to leave…they will leave whether you push them
away or not, if that is the desire of their heart. So accept their love, with caution – I’m not
ever telling you to be a fool, but if they haven’t given you a reason to question their love,
accept it and give it in return. Love completely.
8. Luke 6:45 : A good man brings out the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man
brings out evil things stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full
of.” – Even if you don’t believe in the bible and you believe in logic. This should make
complete sense. I said so many things to people that I couldn’t take back. So many words
used that could’ve been exchanged for words of encouragement. Make sure you are
feeding your heart positive intentions so your words can provide others with healing, love and
acceptance…everything they need. If we are feeding our hearts the right food we will
provide others with positive words, shed from the heart.
9. Everyone Doesn’t Need To Know Everything! – Its lovely isn’t it? Starting a new
relationship or adventure and telling the world. Although this is cute, we live in a world of
habit and worldly standards. I realized this year. Love yourself, love your adventures
and embrace not having to create a status update or take a selfie with every new
adventure you take on. Embrace the moment, love what you have and don’t fall subject to
telling everything (good OR bad) to everyone, because situations and people change.
Contrary to worldly social beliefs, life doesn’t need a status update on everything.
10. Take A Chance On You – you’ve got it in you. Find whatever it is, inside you and allow it
to come out. Once you pinpoint your ‘it” don’t stop, don’t relax and don’t sleep until you
have fulfilled it. We can feel sorry for ourselves, our lives, the jobs we hate, the
relationships we want to manifest, or we can go out and change it.
11. Don’t Hold Anyone Hostage – This once again goes with the whole control thing.
Choosing to play Jedi Mind tricks with those in your life to get them to stick around/want to
be with you, is never going to end well. We know how hard it is for us to accept ourselves,
sometimes it’s even harder for us to accept others. When in any relationship allow yourself
to accept others and make certain they accept you. Allow people to show you
who they really are and what they truly want. Don’t hold anyone, not even yourself,
12. Create – Do something! Make a decision to wake up and take on a new task, hobby or activity.
You can create by yourself or with your loved ones. Embrace each moment you have to do
something new. In the smallest, more quiet, confused and fearful moments of our lives,
we will hold on to these memories of creation and they will act as a mental getaway. So
sign up for that Paint Nite class you always wanted to explore. And create.
13. Take Yourself On A Date – India Arie has a wonderful song called, “Private Party,”
the song is about dancing around your home, reflecting and connecting with oneself
and learning once again how to love YOU. Take yourself on a date every once in a while
you won’t regret it and neither will your inner self. The inner you will remember the
special time you spent together in those difficult times. Taking the time to enjoy you,
all of you, the intricate, delicate and secretive parts of yourself – will shine light on your
ultimate desires. You’ll find a sense of gratefulness.
14. Say No! – Growing up my mother made it a point to teach me the words “no.” We
had several family members who only wanted yes’ and because of this, she wanted
to make certain there would never come a day in my life, as a pushover. Well, along the way
I have found myself saying yes more often than usual, which is fine. If I truly mean yes. The
very moment you accept the invite and say yes, is the very moment you have given permission
to those around you and yourself. If you truly didn’t want to attend that event last year,
say no this year. I learned this. Just because others say yes to you, or do things for you, doesn’t mean you
have to become their yes man. Now, I’m not saying become a “no person” either. But follow
your heart. Trust, if you say yes to something that you really wanted to say no to, your
reactions and actions will show true when it counts.
15. Take Care Of Others The Way You Want To Be Taken Care OF! – This was my best
realization this year. I have always focused on what others have done to me and it has
hindered my ability to be able to take care of myself and others the way my heart truly
wants me to. I’ve heard it said to “leave others better than you found them,” I truly want
to live by this in 2016. And NO it’s not a resolution but my realization. This is what I want
for myself and others, to leave everyone better than we found them.
Happy New Year, Happy BETTER You!
Oxxo (Because I Make Disappearing Acts From Time To Time, But I Still Love You Guys), LUV,Tay
PS: As you can see the polling made a difference. The capitalization for the body of my posts has come to an end.