Grief: 82 Days and Counting, Welcome Back?

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. -Vicki Harrison

Many of you have been wondering where the heck I’ve been. Well, I’ve been learning to swim. And I’ve missed you all so dearly.

82 days ago, one of my Bestfriends in the world passed away, my grandmother. And it was quite an unexpected departure – brought on my cardiac arrest (we’ve been told). On February 13, just a day before a very exciting Valentine’s Day, my Grandma called me “by accident,” around 1:25 a.m., at first, I missed the call. I called her back at 1:29 a.m., only to chat for 35 seconds and laugh a very irritable laugh as she said her “phone had dialed me by accident…” She was still learning to use it. We said our I love you’s and mentioned that we’d chat tomorrow.

FullSizeRender 10.jpg6 hours later, I received a call that she’d passed away. Her leaving the earth, physically, began my journey of learning to swim, a journey of continuous grief in many relationships and constant forced self discovery.

So here I am, on my lunch break, typing this post with tear filled eyes and she’s still gone. I still have days where I feel like I’m drowning but I know she’d want me to fight to swim. In her absence I’ve learned the importance of always saying I love you, of embracing your inner self and working to change it if you don’t like what you see, because OFCOURSE, life is short (standard cliché, I know).

I’ve learned to…

  • Embrace all times, the good and bad. – because at least you’re still alive.
  • Tell strangers that you love them, you might be the only one to tell them, ever.
  • And for the loved ones that you do have, embrace them, all of them, their good, bad and indifferent – you don’t know how much time you’ll have to whole-heartedly love them.

It’s been a while, 80 days to be exact, since I posted here. I’ve missed my blog and the fulfillment I receive when I make a post. While this post is a quick one, this Mental  Monday, I intend to begin sharing with you again…Sharing my new journey of loss and grief coupled with my exploration of self-growth, adventure, weight-loss and coping when life’s pressures seem to get you down.

I wish you all a Happy Mental Monday, where you can begin or continue your journey of learning to swim, keeping your head above water and your dreams afloat.

Oxxo (Because No One Deserves To Feel Like They Are Drowning), LUV,Tay